Rica and Lisa's Lament
by D.F. Pendrys
Summary: In the dub universe borrowing from the Lianne Sentar novelization (the Sentarverse), a comedy fic inspired by the Sailor Business podcast. Rica and Lisa were two of Serena's friends who she gradually lost interest in. Not sure of their original names in the Japanese.


Twenty years had passed since Galaxia had been dealt with and peace in the city of the Crossroads had been constant. This had given Rica Kelton and Lisa Brownridge the time they needed to plot and execute their revenge...

...Now as the two sat in a Pret-Starbucks-Dunkin-O'Hortons cafe, they were able to reflect.

"So when did you figure out Serena was Sailor Moon," Kelton asked jealously admiring the shimmering sapphires in Brownridge's Saks-Target-CVS brand necklace.

"That time Molly was going on about getting saved by Sailor Moon for the fifteenth time, I forget what had happened, green balls or something..." Brownridge said.

"Really? I remember that, I hadn't figured it out yet. Why didn't you tell me?" Kelton asked.

"I didn't tell you a lot of things," Brownridge responded. The memory triggered by those words sliced through Kelton like scissors through a pillowcase.

"Yeah...right..." Kelton responded. "It took me another year, but yeah all Molly...too many coincidences. After I became a victim of whatever happened I collected as much information as I could. I put up a good face, but I was always watching...Then I went and followed Molly one time...and she led me right to all of them...Serena and her real friends transforming..."

"Once Amy showed up Serena really didn't care about us anymore," Brownridge muttered.

"It hurt. She couldn't even see it," Kelton said. "You know when I sent her a friend request she didn't even accept it?"

"She changed..." Brownridge replied not volunteering the info that Serena had accepted hers.

"I hated her so much," Rica responded. "Even before I knew she was Sailor Moon...UFO attacks, those rumors of a station wagon driving around with enemies shooting people in the heart...everything else. It wasn't cool to be ditched. Then I went to that creepy as hell circus. I knew who she was by then. I was attacked, and I saw her running to fight the battle, and my hatred broke somehow...but I still wanted revenge...so badly..."

Brownridge nodded.  
"I had wondered what had happened, you and I didn't talk anymore..after..." she said.

"Yeah..." Kelton replied acknowledging the unspoken of event. "Of course, I wasn't the only one who was angry with her..."

"Is this when you met him?" Brownridge asked.

"No that was years before, I was walking in the park..."

"Which park?"

"The only one..."

"Oh right," Brownridge responded.

"I saw this guy lying prone on the ground. There were like shards of crystal or stone all around him. I was scared but he looked hurt I ran up to him..."

The man was dressed in a strange outfit and looked vaguely familiar as Kelton reached him. He rolled over revealing a relatively beautiful face, and a neat head of blonde hair.

"Are you ok?" she asked.

"Never better!" he said with a grin and stood up. She looked him over. He looked really familiar.

"That's an interesting outfit..." she said.

"I don't like it very much," the man replied stretching.

"Should we get you to a hospital?" she asked.

"No need," he answered and slowly began to walk away. She pursued.

"Hey, are you sure you aren't hurt?" Rica asked.

"Told you no!" he snapped and then paused. "Sorry...um...sorry..."

"How'd you get there?" she asked.

"Not sure," he responded. "I'd guess because my boss died."

"What?" Rica asked. "Who are you?"

"You can call me Jed," he responded.

"That's how you met your future husband?" Brownridge asked breaking the flashback and failing to hide her shock.

"Uh huh!" Kelton responded with a smile. "Funny story right?"

"And how is he?" Lisa pressed.

"As stubborn as ever, coming up with failing business ideas all the time, but he loves me, and he treats me right."

"That's surprising..." Lisa added.

"I know...but he learned quickly, he's a true gentleman now. I think our project really helped him stop being an asshole."

"I'm happy for you," Lisa said. "So what did you do to finally get your revenge?"

"Soooo many things..." Rica said with a grin. "After Jed found out that Mamoru's plane disappeared he used his connections in the music industry to get this group of idols to transfer to Serena's school to tempt her."

"Connections in the music industry...didn't he just zap people all the time?" Brownridge responded.

"He calls it aggressive networking..." Rica answered.

"O...k..." Brownridge said.

"It was brilliant, those three Backstreet Boys wannabes messed with them so much, everyone knows Serena nearly broke then. What we would do...this was great...I figured out that their enemies were working out of..."

"You figured this out?" Brownridge asked continuing to be surprised.

"I was really good at following patterns by then...so amazingly good at it...it's a gift," Kelton said. "So Jed showed me how to be all stealthy and we snuck in, through the broken elevator..."

"Broken elevator?"

"Don't worry about it...and we fed the enemies info, pretty much whoever Serena and her jerk friends had met that day. She loves to meet new people rather than enjoy the one's she has," Kelton spat.

"That's brilliant," Brownridge said.

"We thought so, but the enemies sucked...though that's probably a good thing, because I think we would have all died if they succeeded...it wasn't...really...the best plan...but I saw Serena nearly crushed with everything going on...and that was all I needed.

Brownridge nodded.

"That was a little different than my approach."

"What did you do?" Rica asked.

"It's actually what I'm going to do. I spent years working my way through the entertainment industry. I started from the ground up building power and influence until finally I became the division chief you see right in front of you," Brownridge recounted.

"And?" Rica asked.

"I found something Serena and her friends like so much, something that makes them happy, something they devoted a lot of time to. With my authority now in the company, I now have the power to twist this thing they love and rip out their souls. They will watch what I have created, they won't be able to resist, and it will hurt them."

"Oooooh," Rica said. "What is it?"

"I call it...Sailor V Crystal!" Brownridge replied and began to cackle.

Note: This was written quickly in the hopes of comedic enjoyment. Proofreading was minimal.


End file.
